couples battle with intimacy problems triggered by internet porn, according to research from Relationships Australia.
The national counselling service has found readily accessible online porn is leading to a breakdown of trust and an erosion of intimacy in about 21 per cent of all relationships.
Pornography consumption is also increasingly being cited as a reason for marriage breakdowns.
Peta* from Queensland believes internet porn destroyed her 22-year marriage; she says her husband ultimately chose watching porn over her.
Speaking to News Corp Australia on the condition of anonymity, Peta says the whole demeanour of her husband changed after he became preoccupied by internet porn.
“He became secretive and sneaky, he became more distant, he didn’t treat me with love and respect any more, he treated me as a thing,” Peta says.
An increasing problem ... Peta from Queensland believes internet porn led to her marriage breakdown. Source: News Corp Australia
“He used to be bubbly and outgoing and social, but it’s like he just died inside, he’s become hollow.”
Peta said her husband refused to talk about what he was doing or watching.
She said he would shut her down when she tried to raise the subject, and started making unusual sexual requests of her.
But Peta, who has now separated from her husband, said she would still be open to reconciliation if he were willing to address his porn watching habits and work to rebuild her trust.
Hugh Martin from counselling service Man Enough, which runs clinics for men who experience relationship problems triggered by porn, said most of his clients are sent to him by their wives.
“What I have found in my work with couples is that porn use that is not mutually agreed upon within the relationship comes under the category of infidelity,” he says.
“The lying, the emotional distancing, and the pain of learning about the betrayal feels exactly the same.”
A way out ... partners can seek specialist help for porn addiction. Picture: Thinkstock. Source: Supplied
Relationship and family counsellor with Relationships Australia, Val Holden, also works with couples who are experiencing relationship troubles because of one partner’s porn-viewing habits.
Ms Holden says many wives liken their husband’s porn use to him having a mistress.
“They’ll say things like, ‘it feels like he is cheating on me with another woman, there is betrayal and lying, am I not good enough, why is he doing this?’”
But she said counselling could be an effective way to work through the issue so long as both partners were willing to be open and honest with one another.
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