1. She knows what she wants and she goes for it.
Over the decades, the older woman has walked down a variety of paths and has figured out what's most important to her in life. She's achieved some dreams, set more goals and knows who she is well enough to decide what it is she wants and how she's going to get it. Whether it's in her career, travels or her hobbies, there's nothing sexier than a woman who is ambitious and fearless. Plus -- she might even make the first move.
Despite the stereotype that everyone making a change in middle age is simply having a "midlife crisis," surveys have shown that many people in their 40s and 50s are pursuing their dreams because they want to do something more meaningful. A 2014 survey by Life Reimagined found that over 80 percent of midlifers want to pursue their dreams and give back more in the next decade. Three-quarters said they want to make their lives more meaningful.
2. She's confident in herself and who she is.
Jane Fonda once said, "It’s impossible to be truly intimate with someone if you don’t like yourself.” We couldn't agree more. While many of us still have our body hangups, at a certain age you come to appreciate your body for more than just its stretch-mark-free aesthetic appeal. In one poll, women even said they felt happiest with their bodies after 49.
Older women know that their flaws are just souvenirs of a life well-lived.
3. She knows what she wants in bed -- and she's not afraid to talk about it.
Many older women say they're having the best sex of their life. They've not only lost their inhibitions, they feel freed from the awkward sexual encounters of their youth. Blogger Erica Jagger writes that the sex she had as a younger woman was "exciting but not fulfilling." Being fixated on the way you look or always making sure your partner is fulfilled can leave your experience sort of empty. One divorce later, the post-50 Jagger says her sex life (and sex drive) are better than ever thanks to her ability to fully express her sexual urges and desires.
4. She has life experience.
Experience doesn't only count on the job. It helps in the bedroom, too. Older women have the experience to know what turns them on, what turns their partners on and can even teach less experienced partners a thing or two.
And outside of the bedroom -- older women have the wisdom they've gained from previous relationships, knowing what works and what doesn't. They've tried different things and can introduce a lover to something new. They've been through some of life's difficult ups and downs and know how to handle stress.
According to a study released earlier this year, men in their 20s prefer to date older women. "Young men nowadays probably also recognize that older women are adept at diligently juggling so many responsibilities (career, children, housekeeping, fitness, finances, socializing), which makes them intriguing and attractive and a more secure option," psychologist Sam Owen told YourTango.
There's nothing sexier than a woman who has a grip on life and herself.
5. She's independent.
As blogger Erica Jagger writes, "I stopped caring that I didn't have a house and a ring on my finger. I made a decision that I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than be in a relationship where I couldn't be myself." Regardless of their romantic relationships, older women often have a more robust network of friends and activities that they're tied to. A partner will be part of their life without consuming it.
Anyone who has ever been in a relationship knows the importance of not losing yourself in the other person. Instead, it's better to love each other while giving each other the room to grow and flourish.
So she'll want you, but she won't need you.
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