WHY are most famous pets on Instagram dogs? Because cats are unphotogenic jerks.
Three months ago, I set out to make my adopted tabby, Jameson, a bona fide star.
After all, if cute pups such as Toast and Rincon can turn their internet fame into cold hard cash via modelling gigs and endorsement deals, why can’t my cat do the same?
The feeling wasn’t mutual. I’ve spent the past 12 weeks being routinely shunned by this finicky feline, who has a gift of turning off his cuteness as soon as my iPhone goes into camera mode.
All in all, I managed to post 24 photos of my bent-eared baby since introducing him to the Instagram world (admittedly, I gave up on the endeavour three weeks ago). During that time, I followed 143 accounts from Jameson’s page, with only 96 following him in return. He averaged 20 likes per photo, with his very first photo earning a record 39.
But my cat’s lack of poise wasn’t the only reason I had to give up hope of seeing Jameson model alongside Karl Lagerfeld’s fluff ball Choupette on the glossy pages of Vogue.
Photo: @jamesoncat. Source: Instagram
Remembering to post on the social media app daily is hard ... really hard. Katie Sturino, mum to dogs Toast and Muppet, who have a combined following of 315,000, suggested I post to Instagram around 12pm New York time — when Europeans are home from work, the US East Coast is on its lunch break, and the US West Coast is just waking up.
At noon, I’m usually up to my eyeballs in work — around 4:30pm. I would remember in a fog that I hadn’t yet posted a photo for the day.
Even outside of working hours, whipping out my iPhone and posting photos of my cat isn’t what I do with my free time (I’d rather watch Grey’s Anatomy re-runs for the umpteenth time).
That’s if I even have photos to post. Aside from Jameson’s aversion to being photographed, I learned that the lighting in my apartment sucks.
My favourite Insta-famous cat, Pugsley, lives in an enviable high-rise apartment that boasts sun-soaked rooms and floor-to-ceiling windows.
Meanwhile, I live in an apartment at the bottom of a cliff with no direct sunlight. The photos come out too dark if I leave the lights off, and too yellow if I turn them on; flash makes Jameson look demonic.
There’s also the bore factor. Dogs have the excitement of moving beyond the apartment walls — the entire city is their backdrop! They can make friends at the dog park, or dine alfresco.
Photo: @jamesoncat. Source: Instagram
Jameson prefers sleeping under the couch.
I borrowed a cat leash from a co-worker thinking it would lead to photogenic adventures — but Jameson recoiled in horror every time he caught sight of it.
But for everything that went poorly, there were a few things that did go well. Sturino advised me to ride someone else’s coat-tails: “Until you are co-signed by another brand or person, people don’t pay attention,” she informed me.
So I was pleased to see the Humane Society of New York post a photo of Jameson and a link to his page. It gave his account some much-needed clout — even if the shelter doesn’t carry the same social standing as Marc Jacobs or Givenchy.
So for now, Jameson and I will continue to live in obscurity, away from the limelight. But perhaps if I ever find myself unemployed and living with a dog on a tropical island, I’ll give
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