WHEN unemployed 23-year-old Eddie was offered a $1600 Louis Vuitton bag while out on his first date he couldn’t quite believe his eyes.
“One of them took me to Louis Vuitton and he was trying to get me a bag that was $1600 and I was like ‘excuse me, but with $1600 I could go to River Island and buy a load of crap” he told news.com.au. “They’ve tried, but no, I like my high street brands because I can get a lot of stuff from there!”
The singer and web presenter is talking about his time as a “sugar baby” — an arrangement where young people sign up to “date” Sugar Daddies and Sugar Mummies who shower them with cash, clothes and holidays in exchange for their company.
The Seeking Arrangement homepage. Source: Supplied
They meet on Seeking Arrangement — a controversial site that claims more than five million members in 139 countries. It features profile pictures of men on snowy mountains or posing in front of luxury cars, who range from 31 to over 60 years old with names like CEO and Mr Happy Go Lucky. The Sugar Mummies are equally tanned and toned, pictured in bikini selfies or sprawled on the balcony of luxury apartments.
“Most of the people I’ve met are from the UK, but I’ve had two couples fly from the US to meet me in London,” said Eddie. “This sounds so heartless … [I] don’t feel bad because it’s kind of like a job if you think about it. It’s basically giving company for someone who feels alone. If their way is spoiling someone, then it is helping two different sides.”
Seeking Arrangement has held seminars on how to be a good Sugar Baby in New York. Source: Facebook
He signed up to the site after seeing it featured on the Tyra Banks show and within a month was in multiple relationships with people who would fund his rent, wardrobe and fledgling business. The relationship would start with a chat on Skype and a meeting somewhere public where they might hang out for the day, go shopping or out for dinner.
Eddie says while it “got weird” in the past, sex was definitely not on offer.
“At first I was like everyone else, I thought, ‘OK this is a bit different’ but once I got used to it, I understood what it was. It was for people who were seeking company basically. I’m still a virgin. I’ve never had anything sexual. Nothing but a little peck on the cheek when the event is over.
“I’ve had people who have said ‘would I ever do anything more?’ or’ ‘would I fly over to their house and stay?’ but that’s when I cut them off because the thing is I’m very strict about what I’m there for and it’s strictly written on my profile ‘nothing sexual, strictly companionship’ and I’ve kept to it ever since.”
Spokeswoman Angela Jacob Bermudo. Source: Supplied
It’s a formula that Seeking Arrangement’s EU spokeswoman Angela Jacob Bermudocalls an “upfront and honest way of dating suitable for our modern times.” The sugar babies get a leg-up financially as well as networking and mentorship. The sugar daddies and mummies get to spend time with someone younger and lavish them with affection.
The site has been widely criticised for facilitating prostitution in all but name. However Ms Jacobo Bermudo said while things can become “intimate”, that’s never part of the initial agreement and background checks are conducted on members.
“Solicitation of any kind of service in exchange for money or compensation is strictly prohibited from our website, as is any other illegal activity. It is important to note, for those who are not familiar with arrangements, that just as any typical relationship sex is not part of the agreement. Nor is it a requirement within the relationship.”
She said the student membership on site is growing rapidly, with 67 per cent of the sugar babies surveyed in 2013 saying they would graduate debt-free due to their ‘job’.
“Perhaps the greatest benefit is the non-financial aspect—students gain mentorship and can access a strong business network these Sugar Daddies provide for their partners. Leading to a long-term gain of financial stability that these women can eventually attain, allowing them to become independent.”
Don’t ask for money outright was among the tips given to sugar babies at the New York seminar. Source: Facebook
However some members say sex is an inevitable part of the relationship. Student Catherine* told the BBC she started sleeping with her sugar daddy who helped pay bills and tuition fees after four months because she “felt quite bad” about the arrangement. Another student Freya* admitted it was prostitution and called it a “goldmine” for young women, provided they are hard-headed enough to cope with it.
For the sugar mummies and daddies, it can be a way of having a relationship with no strings attached. Ms Jacob Bermudo said in the UK the average sugar daddy is 40 and earns around $464,000 a year, while providing up to $6000 a month in gifts and expenses. Sugar mummies are 45 and earn around $600,000 and provide around $4000 in expenses. About one third both sugar mummies and daddies are married.
Mike, a 38-year-old IT worker, provides his sugar baby with a monthly allowance of £2000 and shopping trips, although he has splashed £40,000 on hiring a private jet to go to Las Vegas before.
“I like dating beautiful women and it was an easier way for me to do that … I look for companionship, loyalty, friendship and yes, intimacy is part of that …[sex] is traditionally part of the arrangement,” he says.
Seeking Arrangement CEO Brandon Wade (right). Source: Supplied
However for others, the trend makes for uneasy reading. Durham University Law School research associate Judith Evans fears rising tuition fees could lead more students into sex work.
Her research shows 20 per cent of people consider sex work at university while one in 20 students actually goes through with it for reasons often linked to their financial situation and whether or not it is found socially acceptable.
Seeking Arrangement claims that students are one of their fastest growing groups joining the site, with more than 40 per cent of members in the UK also studying.
“There is a need to ensure that no student is pressured to perform any kind of emotional or sexual work that could have a detrimental effect on their wellbeing,” she wrote in The Conversation.
Well, that’s a striking quote. Source: Supplied
For Eddie, working as a sugar baby has furnished him with enough money to start his own production company and he no longer has time for the relationships.
“I’ve not done it now in a few months because I’ve just started my own business from sugar daddies and sugar mummies so I’ve been busy working, but it annoys me when people look down on it.
“I’ve seen so many different things posted about it like ‘it’s prostitution’ and ‘it’s this’ and ‘it’s that’, but I genuinely think people need to stop attacking the site and what it represents and start looking into people who would prostitute themselves on website.”
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