The nursery is painted pristine white and a simple cream-coloured cot sits waiting in a corner. ‘I suppose it really should be blue, now we know it’s a boy,’ says the anxious father-to-be. ‘But I’ve left all that up to the mother.’
He has dutifully attended hospital scans and antenatal classes and plans to be in the delivery room for the birth of his first child next month.
Nothing extraordinary here, you might think. But this is hardly your typical expectant dad. This is Ivan Massow, multi-millionaire gay political activist and prospective Tory candidate for Mayor of London next year.
The mother of his unborn child was herself in a same-sex relationship when they met over the internet for the specific purpose of having a child. And the pair now live together in Ivan’s spacious five-storey house in Bloomsbury, London, with a menagerie that includes a parrot called Elizabeth, two dogs and a cat.
‘My birth partner and I are technically sort of married,’ Ivan suggests, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously. It is certainly an unconventional ménage – his boyfriend, Harry Winter, 20, a geology student at Royal Holloway University, often stays over.
But it was never supposed to be this way. When the 47-year-old entrepreneur, who is worth about £40 million, decided to have a baby with the woman, she had been happily ensconced in a long-term relationship with another woman. The idea was for the child, who we can exclusively reveal will be called Nikolai (or Nico for short), to be brought up predominantly by the two women, who are in their 30s and lived in Croydon, South London
‘He would have two mothers, but I saw myself helping out with nappy changing, playing football in the park, babysitting, going on holidays and being very much involved,’ Ivan says.
But just three months into the pregnancy, the women suddenly parted. Ivan won’t reveal why the seemingly solid partnership floundered, saying only that ‘it’s very sad’.
The baby’s mother has declined all requests to comment and does not want to be interviewed. Which must be awkward for a man who has never been shy about discussing what he calls his ‘chequered background’ – everything from male escorts, recreational drugs, alcoholism, depression and two suicide attempts. ‘I believe in transparency,’ he says by way of explanation.
It is a refreshing, if potentially dangerous, trait for a budding politician. He has been teetotal since 2008, surrounding himself with other non-drinkers, and today lives quite frugally, flying easyJet, wearing M&S shirts and giving thousands of pounds every month to charities and people he mentors.
During his colourful life, he has made a fortune, lost it and made it again. He was also sensationally fired as chairman of the Institute of Contemporary Art in 2002, after branding most conceptual art as ‘pretentious, self-indulgent, craftless tat’.
Living together: Ivan Massow shares his home with his gay life partner Mila who is expecting his child
Together: Ivan, pictured here with his 20-year-old boyfriend Harry Winter, could run for London Mayor
It is his disarming honesty that makes him want to open up about everything. Nothing is sacred: from the time he stopped his father killing himself, to the ‘homophobia’ some gay people direct at him, his abusive childhood and now his burning desire to become a father.
For although it is usually women who feel the tick of their biological clock, Ivan has long yearned to have a family. ‘It’s really important to me. I love kids and I have strong nurturing instincts,’ he says.
‘Having a child explains life. Without them, there is that thing missing. That need to provide and care. It will complete me in many ways.’
Perhaps this desperate need stems from his own difficult childhood. When he was 12, his mother had to put him up for adoption after his father turned abusive. ‘She had friends on the game; it was a different world,’ Ivan says uncritically.
When Ivan decided that he wanted to become a father, he researched adoption but felt his fame and chequered past counted against him.
He looked into finding a surrogate mother who would carry his child, and discovered a website that helps match up surrogates and sperm donors.
The procedure is a bit like online dating – only with higher stakes.
After two years of searching on the site, he found the perfect couple and they sent him their details.
Having a child explains life. Without them, there is that thing missing. That need to provide and care. It will complete me in many ways.
Several months later, after phone calls and emails, they met over coffee at the British Film Institute on London’s South Bank last year, but at that stage he was again holding out hope of adopting a child.
‘We seemed to fit very well,’ Ivan says. ‘I told them I wanted to see how it turned out.
‘We remained in contact, then one day, when I realised I wasn’t going to be able to go down the adoption route, I phoned them and said, “It’s time. Let’s do it.”
‘I was 46 and in my view time was running out because I didn’t want to be too old for my child when he’s in his late teens. The adoption process was taking so long. I didn’t want to push it any further.’
HE WAS particularly impressed that the couple were in a solid and secure 13-year relationship. ‘They were so excited about having a child and they wanted the child to have a male role model in its life. They could have gone to a sperm donor clinic, but it was important for them to create something that was as close to being a traditional family unit, in their eyes, as possible.’
The insemination – via a kit – worked immediately. ‘It was amazing that we got lucky with the first attempt. I was absolutely delighted,’ gushed Ivan with masculine pride.
He is surprisingly happy with the domestic arrangement. ‘When I first heard that they had parted, it was no question that I would do anything but say she had to come and live with me. It’s going really well. It’s nice.’
Anyone might think that coping with a new baby is hard enough, without the added stress of two virtual strangers moving in together in a new relationship. But the five-bedroom mansion is more than large enough for mother and child to have their own floor – there is also a separate flat in the basement.
Still, it is an unusual set-up even in a world of increasingly flexible families. ‘It seems very strange to be re-inventing the notion of an arranged marriage,’ muses Ivan. ‘What we have is full of respect and kindness. We sit down and work out what would make life easier.
‘From what kind of school, to what food and how strict. Because when you have a proper relationship, these are the kinds of things you use to select your partner, based on your values. We are thrashing out what each other expects and being very polite, because we want to remain living together until the child is an adult. At least that’s the plan.’
They’ve even talked about how to conduct their personal relationship. Making sure that there is enough private space so that each can have independence, while at the same time ensuring that the child – and any others that might follow – feels it is a safe environment.
IVAN MASSOW SAYS JOAN COLLINS SAVED HIS LIFE IN ST TROPEZ
Multi-millionaire Ivan Massow has revealed the night that Joan Collins saved his life while he was staying at her villa in St Tropez.
The Dynasty star’s intervention came seven years ago when Massow drank a staggering six bottles of wine.
She told him: ‘I had just one glass last night. Nearly all the rest must have been you. I think you have a problem.’
Massow, who has been teetotal for seven years, says: ‘I wasn’t a park bench drunk. It’s about the light going out of your eyes and she was able to help me switch it back on. It was just before my 40th birthday.’
He added: ‘I get a lot of stick for my celebrity contact, but she has been a deep, deep personal mentor for 25 years and it’s just a coincidence that she is well-known.’
Life-saver: Ivan Massow said Joan Collins saved his life after he drank six bottles of wine
Unlike Ivan, his son will want for nothing. He grew up with either foster carers or adopted family, leaving school with just one O-level, and ended up living in London at the age of 19. He started his financial consultancy business from a squat in Kentish Town, North London, at just 23. It arranged insurance for gay people during the worst days of Aids hysteria, when many faced inflated premiums.
It was wildly successful and by his 30s Ivan had four Bentleys, several houses and boats – along with a retinue of staff. Along the way, he also garnered a list of celebrity friends, from Geri Halliwell and George Michael to Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall. None is closer than Dame Joan Collins, who he calls his ‘second mum’. She has already been lined up as Nico’s godmother.
Ivan also became a key Conservative Party supporter, accompanied Margaret Thatcher to the party’s conference in 1999 and was an adviser to William Hague. Justice Secretary Michael Gove used to be a flatmate and he partied with a young George Osborne.
Which is why, until recently, he was considered the frontrunner to bag the Tory nomination to succeed Boris Johnson as Mayor of London next year. Until, that is, the party’s favoured son Zac Goldsmith threw his hat into the ring three weeks ago. Ivan’s irritation at this last-minute competitor is palpable, but he refuses to indulge in political ‘trash talking’. Instead, he cheerily says: ‘We’ve known each other for 25 years. We go to dinner occasionally and we share lots of friends.
‘I don’t want to judge him or his ability to resonate with Londoners. But I will say that I am troubled by the fact that more jobs, from acting through to the City, are moving away from Thatcher’s meritocratic revolution. Today, people from the “right families” are given the jobs because they have the right accents and went to the right schools. That’s not the world I want to live in.’
Fatherhood, he says, feels all the sweeter because it has been a long time coming. ‘I tried having a child with single women I knew, but it seemed as soon as I found someone they would find a partner and want to have a family with that person.’
He has twice tried to adopt but found that his colourful history and high profile were obstacles. The agency was not just concerned about a potential relapse into drink and drugs, but also worried about his ‘Google-count’, as he calls it.
‘When Boris Johnson announced that he would not stand for re-election, I knew that I had to go for it and that it would blow my chances to adopt. Fortunately, the baby offer came up and it was a sure thing.’
He might be in the grip of baby fever and ‘so excited that it’s almost embarrassing’, but he is determined that having a child won’t get in the way of his bid to become London Mayor. Nothing will. ‘I’ve been preparing for the Conservative hustings for almost a year now. But I still turn up to all the scans and classes like an obedient spaniel. I’m providing the home and I think it’s really important that my co-parent is able to control that end of things.
‘I’ll be there for the birth, but standing from a certain angle,’ he laughs. ‘Joan Collins thinks this new trend of fathers being so involved in the birth of a baby is vulgar – but she is very funny when she says it.’
He has shut down all his businesses to focus on becoming Mayor. Money, he insists, has never really been his driver.
‘I’m not your typical politician. I take the Tube, hate conventional politics and I love London. I came into this as a total outsider, but I would have been very disappointed with myself if I had not had the courage to stand. I think I’m the party’s best chance of a win. I know first hand what it’s like to have nothing and survive in this city.’
If he fails in his bid, no doubt baby Nico will help to ease the pain.
No comments:
Write 10